


Light 'em Up

by Zugzwang (thunderdone)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Mavin, fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3179285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderdone/pseuds/Zugzwang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael and Gavin reveal, in the cover of darkness, the fears of many, but also explain why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light 'em Up

**Author's Note:**

> In all honesty, I put a lot of effort into this, and particular parts were quite difficult to write and explain. It's all based around the quote given in the beginning, which I found via Tumblr, and it really struck a chord in me. Enjoy!

“Have you ever sat in complete darkness with someone?  Somehow the words feel heavier and the phrases deeper, and all of a sudden the room is no longer just in darkness but quietly lit with the light of their soul. You can see it bare. Without it’s shell. Defenseless.  There’s too much truth the light hides.”  
— Jenn Satsune

Smee was curled happily between the two sleeping men, as silence filled the dark, yet pleasingly warm bedroom. The ebony around them fell as another, less tangible blanket. Sure, it couldn't have easily been broken, and it pressed on and between them, muffling any soft ticks of the analog clock on their bedside table and the purr of the heat turning on and off, as well as the quiet, pure wheeze of the cat at their feet. But it magnified the miserable plunks of water on the apartment's window, as well as the onslaught of emotions and the absoluteness of demise. 

There was a soft whisper in the night finally, spoken hesitantly with a small pause in between each word. "Are... You awake?" The sheets shifted as Gavin rolled onto his side to face the other's back, a disgruntled Smee letting out a mrowl of protest as he did, but quickly readjusting to sit on his ankles. 

Another voice arose in the darkness, louder and less hesitant. "What, Gavin." The words were launched gruffly and the tone was one of annoyance, but even as they were said in the darkness, the second body turned over and placed their hand upon Gavin's. The hand fumbled and spidered up and down his arm for a moment before lightly gripping Gavin's hand, yet finally stilled once he had located the other's hand. 

"Michael, what are you afraid of?"

The question was a small tidal wave of anxiousness, rolled gently onto Michael from his partner. "Why do you ask?" He pulled the sheets higher up on his shoulder, staring at where he assumed Gavin's face was within the relentless night. There was a soft shifting of sheets beside him that indicated a shrug from Gavin, as he sighed. 

"Well, death for one thing. I mean, sure, what if we're reborn in another person. Or what if there's endless peace in the form of a heaven, or endless torment in the reign of hell. What terrifies me is an atheist's answer. Endless nothingness. Neither black or white, dark or light. The fact that we will never know of earth's fate in the end, of anything. And even if there is an afterlife of endless something, it would get boring. The concept of forever is fragmented, and difficult to understand."

"Even if you go through the process of rebirth and Heaven or hell, it brings up the question of animals. They have neither will to do evil or good in the world. Maybe dogs, though. Dogs have benevolent intentions. But birds and cats and grasshoppers and cows and gorillas and tigers... Where would they go? To an endless purgatory? Half to heaven half to hell? Straight up nothingness? We'll never know until we die."

Michael gets a distant look in his eyes as his stomach churns, head beginning to pound. His breath quickens as he sits up, rubbing his face. "Sorry, I... Fucking... God damn it..." He mumbles under his breath. "What about you, asshole, now that I'm not gonna get any sleep."

Gavin sits up beside Michael, tugging his knees to his chest, feeling his own heartbeat in his knees. Smee complains quietly as he is forced to readjust his position once again, curling up in a spot that would be directly between both Gavin and Michael's stomachs when they laid back down. "The dark. I'm afraid of the dark."

A short, cruel laugh comes from Michael as he looks over to Gavin. "Why? Why do you mention it now. I just fuckin' pulled out my most primitive fear I'm front of you, and am now forced to revel in it. You want to say that now? Plus after how many months of sleeping in the dark with me?"

He shakes his head a little. "It's fine when someone's with me. It's proof I'm still here and stuff. That I still have someone that would stand with me through the darkness. Kinda symbolic, I guess. But it's embarrassing. Got made fun of in sixth grade on a field trip to the country because I asked to leave the lights on. Same thing in eighth when we went down to London for a week and I had to share a room. Just something I can't help."

"I mean, it tries to kill you. It, like, pushes a pillow into your eyes and nose and mouth and ears and blunts senses and disorients and just kind of... Stays. There's no stopping the darkness, even with a light. Lights go out unless bills get paid and taxes and stuff. When I sleep alone, yeah, I leave a light on, and yeah, I need music to fall asleep. With someone else you have their lungs and heart to hear. You have their scent instead of nothing. You have their war,path instead of just sheets, that are too cold. May not be able to see them, but they're there. You can tell."

A small silence ensues after the statement, as each examines their surroundings, felling how truly alone they were, minds milling around the same subject, never leaving, at least in the back of their mind, for the remainder of the nighttime. Eventually, words were exchanged and they both slunk slowly back under the covers (to Smee's annoyance), and began to fall back to sleep. 

But alas, nothing could be done, their hearts were torn into one. Both revealed their haunting miseries of yesteryear and the next year as well, the inevitable darkness and ending of it all.


End file.
